The Hayne Plane


Jarryd Hayne’s incredible start to his NFL career has inspired everyday Australians – including the PM.

Mr. Abbott will soon fly to San Francisco to congratulate Hayne on his performances so far. Abbott will take his private jet which he’s humorously renamed “The Hayne Plane” for this special trip.

‘Hayne is a true inspiration to all Australians. He’s proof that if you have natural sporting talent and plenty of money, you can leave your successful sporting career and achieve the American Dream.’

Abbott says he’s been a keen follower of the NFL. ‘I find it very exciting when the players score goals after a tense rally and they kiss the outside edge of the bat then win the scrum feed. I love watching the SuperCup every year.’

Opposition leader Bill Shorten has surprisingly encouraged Abbott’s junket. ‘The longer that bastard’s out of the country the better.’

Unfortunately for Abbott, his trip hit a hurdle  when a quick check of Wikipedia revealed Hayne was of Fijian descent and have played for Fiji in the 2008 World Cup.

‘What kind of person claims to be a dinky-di Australian when their parents were born overseas? It’s deceitful,’ said the London-born Abbott. ‘I’ll have to send Bronny instead, she’s been itching to use her Haynecopter.’


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