New NRL CEO Todd Greenberg has announced a bold reboot of the State of Origin series, to begin in 2017.
“NSW are gone! They’ve been hopeless since 2006 and it’s getting boring. Their best players are too busy getting maggotted on the piss, so they obviously don’t care enough. Tell me the last time a Queenslander got into strife?”
The new format features Queensland against a Word XIII side in the three-game International Origin series at Suncorp Stadium. The World XIII comprises the best non-Queensland NRL stars from Australia and overseas, opening the door for Semi Radradra, Benji Marshall, Gareth Widdop, James Graham and Sam Burgess. The games will be held on Wednesday nights with NRL matches to be replaced by Pacific Tests and Origin under-20s games on the pre-Origin weekends.
“Origin is our great game’s hallmark and it’s a travesty that our international stars can’t play.Why should we have to watch the Queenslanders destroy hopeless s******ts like Mitchell Pearce or Robbie Farah when – instead – we could watch them be tested against real footy stars like Semi Radradra or the Burgess boys?”
The games will be telecast Australia-wide through Channel Nine Queensland, with an all-Maroon commentary team anchored by Nine news’ Andrew “Lofty” Lofthouse and Melissa Downes. Yvonne Sampson, Wally Lewis, Karl Stefanovic, Mal Meninga, Ian Healy, Darren Lockyer and Fatty Vautin will call the match.
The Suncorp Stadium crowd will be entertained pre-game by highlights of NSW’s best Origin bloopers, put together by the Australia’s Funniest Home Video crew, complete with wacky sound effects.
“Over 50,000 Queenslanders will go home happy, and that’s all that matters,” said Greenberg.
While looking forward to the new concept, Maroons legend Chris Close says State of Origin still has some legs.
“I appreciate Mr Greenberg’s foresight, but watching the mighty Queenslanders humiliate the hopeless Blues never gets old!”
NOTE: this is a parody article. Nobody’s messing with Origin.